With anal training, the key is understanding that your butt is surrounded by muscle, like any other muscle group in your body. You want to pace yourself, taking rest days too if you’ve trained (stretched) wider than ever before the previous day.
Learning to heed your body’s signals, exercising without overexerting, is crucial for safe anal – and avoiding fissures.
Plus, we’ll cover one trick for moving toward P-spot orgasm: letting your body guide you, not pummeling your spot into oblivion.
Let’s start with how to pick a practical first (or second or third) butt plug in the 1st class of Anal Training 101:
How to Pick a Butt Plug
Most important, know what you can take. This is key for all matters anal: And you’ll learn as you go.
If you’re new to anal play, start with roughly 1-inch diameter. You want a small plug, smaller at the top. “Tapered.” Like a smooth pyramid. A great trainer plug is tapered, body-safe and has a flared base. (Here are two examples, including my top-pick butt plug first set.)
If you’re played with fingers or more: Measure what you can take. Any tape measure’s a good investment, and a locking one is good for diameter. Do your best to measure accurately across your fingers for diameter. Be sure you’re measuring the amount you can take comfortably, not accidentally spreading your fingers more.
Or, if you’re got anal sex toys already, measure those.
When moving up to your next anal training size: increase between 0.25 and 0.33 inches diameter, or between 0.785 inches to 1 inch circumference. Metric: increase between 6.6 to 8.3mm diameter, or between 20 and to 25mm circumference.
Those slow increases are enough to sense the stretch, but not so much you’ll hurt your butt. Avoid Anal-Ease or other benzocaine-based and similar numbing agents.
First-Time tips: Use your 1st anal toy
Plugging is the best first step toward anal sex. It gets your sphincter muscles + anal canal and your rectum accustomed to keeping something inside, and is less stressful vs. thrusting.
Anal penetration will be different at first, and stretching takes you places. It might feel weird as you receive your first butt plugs, that’s normal. But, pain signals are useful tools. Our body sends them so we can avoid injury, like minor tissue tears or deeper fissures.
Here’s a short way to remember how-to use a 1st anal toy:
- Warmup. Lubricant is critical: Pre-lube! Get ur lube ready. And if you’re going to go wider than you ever have before, pre-game by using a smaller plug first.
- Headspace. Breathe deeply, go slowly and ensure you’re in a relaxed headspace.
- One inch. Only expand less than or equal to 0.3″ maximum diameter / 1 inch circumference more per session. Best practice: Allow your hole at least 3 days to rest from stretching even wider after a new maximum is achieved.
- Let your hole draw the toy inward, after light pressure on the plug / dildo base. The best anal stretching happens when your anus, sphincter muscles + anal canal are ready and willing – Pulling the toy in to the rectum’s vacuum, vs. forcing it.
- Enjoy. Anal pleasure’s all about having a good time, and feeling all the unique sensations that your ass can provide.
- Stop if it hurts, ever. “Weirdness” is OK. Pain is not.
Only insert your plug in slowly, pausing to sense the increased fullness and depth.
You want to seduce your asshole, not force it. Till your butt is tugging and drawing the slim plug tip in. Remember, first insertion can feel weird, but shouldn’t hurt.
Wear your plug for a shorter stretch at first. Even 15 minutes is a good start.
Work up to wearing it for an hour, then to about two hours as you get more acclimated. After 1–2 full hours of comfortable wear (with any size in a trainer plug set), then try the next size up upon your next plugging session. (Two trainer kit sizes compared here, at “beginner”.)
As you get fuller, it’s not unusual to feel aroused. (If M) : You’ll probably not be erect, but may begin to leak precum if you have a penis. You might also feel you have to pee, if the plug is pressed in hard above your P-spot, reaching the bladder. Women also get clitoral arousal from anal play frequently. Enjoy!
Keep inserting your plug as far as you smoothly can. If you haven’t reached the base but are hitting a wall, no prob. Try again in 1 to 3 days, as your anus is training to take more. As you get comfortable, better trained: You should be able to take a trainer plug’s full length, with its T-bar base situated in your butt crack.
(If you continue to hit a wall with a deeper toy – over 6–7 inches length – you could be reaching the sigmoid colon’s bend. “Depth play” is a further step. We’ll cover that later. Length varies by individual, but you’ll need a longer toy to reach that deep, at least 6 inches for most people.
If you’re hitting a wall and you’re only 2–3 inches in, it could be your sphincter muscles not being adequately warmed up. (Or, your rigid toy is impacting the rectum’s gentle curve.) If you’re struggling with insertion, be insistent, but gentle. Never force it.
And consider using a better lubricant if you feel drag. Virgin coconut oil is the slickest way to go. Thinner lubricants also want to slide off plugs as you insert them, so try pre-lubing your butt with the lubricant directly (buy nitrile gloves if you like) or try a lube launcher to get best lubricated pre-insertion.
Butt Plug Must-Haves
To recap, this is what every butt plug should have as a minimum standard:
- Flared Base.
- Safe material. Silicone only if it’s soft. Or any Aneros prostate plug (Eupho, MGX, Helix, and Maximus in white are hard plastic), or 316 stainless steel (Njoy Pure Plugs).
- If a beginner plug: Some taper, so the progression from tip to maximum width is gradual. Try a silicone trainer kit first.
- For a wearable plug: A thinner neck vs. the bulb’s widest point. This is so you can retain the plug while walking, the thin neck lets it stay inserted. The Snug Plug is the best example of thin neck = high drop-off percentage.
And don’t forget the:
Lubricant.
Water-based lubricants are easy to clean off all sex toys. But. They dry up fast. Avoid water-based lubes with glycerin too, which can cause burning.
Virgin coconut oil is the smoothest anal lubricant and will keep your plug slicker over time. (Good for extended sessions & longer wear, which is very fun.) Buy from any grocery store: Extra virgin oil is non-hydrogenated = healthier because no trans fats are produced. If a room isn’t warm, coconut oil will solidify. Solutions:
- Melt it in a microwave-safe container, by heating for a few seconds. May sure it’s cool before applying to your toy + anus via a clean spoon.
- Or, buy any type of narrow ice cube tray like this, put coconut oil into the slots, freeze, and then insert the frozen oil internally. It will melt inside your rectum.
- Buy liquid coconut oil. This is the kind I usually get, works well: just squirt onto your toy directly.
Coconut oil is nondamaging to silicone toys, but you’ll want to scrub longer to clean it off. It does stain sheets so you’ll need disposable towels or a waterproof blanket over the bed.
X-Lube is a powder you buy and add water to yourself, slowly mixing, for much volume. Unlike other water-based lubricants, it is not acidic and does not contain irritating preservatives. This bottle will last a long time. It adheres smoothly to all toys. Great for thrusting anal sex. This is J-Lube without glycerin, which is preferable. Use clean / distilled water to mix, slightly pouring. Use warm water to avoid clumps. Add less water to make it thickest, or more for a consistency that’s easier to apply. X-Lube feels stringy, but does wash off toys easily. Mix a new batch at least every two weeks, since – not having preservatives – it can mold after too long.
Silicone lubricant has lots of longevity, but is difficult to clean off silicone sex toys. Slick and oily. Better with metal / stainless steel or glass sex toys. Only includes silicone compounds like dimethicone (also used to lubricate condoms and soften the platinum silicone used for super-soft sex toys), except Uberlube (which is great for sex) also has vitamin E.
A lube shooter a.k.a. lube launcher or lubricant injector is a great tool too, as it gets you prelubed, so butt plugs are easier to insert. The toy will drag less after passing your anus.
To apply your lubricant: How to get it fully inside your anal canal and rectum, vs. running off a toy, is worth learning.
- A lube shooter / lubricant launcher, previously mentioned. It’s like a needle-free syringe whose cavity you fill with lube, insert the tip 1+ inches inside yourself, then push in the plunger to dispense.
- You can also take virgin coconut oil from its tub, using a clean spoon. Heat in a microwave-safe container for a few seconds before applying thoroughly to toys. Do this over the sink or an old towel. Make sure the oil is not too hot. This will lead to some dripping, but can be managed.
- You can also search for “narrow ice cube trays” and buy one with rounded “cube” edges, then freeze virgin coconut oil, and insert the frozen coconut block anally. It will warm up quickly, melting inside your rectum once pushed several inches inside.
I hope this beginner’s guide is informative. More how-tos: width stretching, all-day plug wear (forthcoming), and depth play later…
Note: This post is not intended as medical advice, and I am not a physician. Always play safely and responsibly, within your own limits, heeding any pre-existing conditions. Consult a medical professional if you experience any irritation or discomfort that may constitute a medical issue.